Warning! Spoilers ahead for both this book and How to Kill a Rock Star (HTKARS). Read at your own risk.Oh, how I wanted to love this book. Sigh. Unfortunately, it fell flat for me. I won't lie, the writing was exemplary of everything that I expected from Tiffanie DeBartolo. It was rythmic and beautiful and, most importantly, profound in the way that it opened up my mind and dumped in new philosopical ideas that I wasn't conscious of before. As far as I am concerned, Ms. DeBartolo's writing and the ability to connect with a reader's psyche is all that is needed for me to reccomend it to anyone and even though you may not love the story or it's ending, it will be a worthwhile read. Now, on to why this didn't work for me. First off, I must disclose the fact that I am an eternal optimist. We are told at the prologue what is going to happen in this book, there is no hiding it, no sugar coating it, and yet I believed that, somehow, everything would still turn out alright. I wish I would have read this book before I picked up HTKARS because having read that book I was powered with false hope for this one. I kind of feel now, that HTKARS must be the make up book for this one. It's funny though because after I finished that book, I felt that the ending was unplausable and I kind of wished (even though I absolutely adored Paul) that it would have ended like this one. Had Paul really committed suicide, it would have been more true to the story of a young woman who looses the love of her life because she pushed him away in an attempt to make him live out her dreams for him that he never really wanted in the first place. With this story, it just felt like a cynical woman who already has this "God shaped hole" inside of herself due to her upbringing, hates her situation and the people surrounding her, feels melancholy for her life and then, a shining star enters the picture and it changes everything. She starts to feel hope and begins with Josh to build a plan for a more pleasant future only to have it ripped out from under her again and for what? I didn't get the point of the story, I didn't understand why it had to end that way. She is left, once again with the hole. She still has the depressing veiw of her future and no clear idea on the direction for the rest of her life. Yes, she escaped the hated LA but to what? We don't know. It just felt like there was no resloution, nothing has changed from the way she was to begin with. Something that majorly bothered me about the story was Josh and Beatrice's hatred for LA. I just pictured them as hipster types who were way too cool for everything. Growing up in Califorinia and having traveled all over the country, I can tell you that the grass is not going to be greener anywhere. I hated hearing the stereotype from the "uncle" character that there are only 3 types of people in LA. My hometown is 29 Palms, but I spent a lot of my childhood in Santa Anna,and yes LA, and northern California in my early 20's. I've traveled all over the state of California from San Deigo, to Long Beach, LA County, Riverside, San Bernardino, Sacramento....the list goes on. I can tell you that, although you can find rad people everywhere in this world, you would be hard pressed to find the quantity of bad-assed open-minded and loving people that there are in the great state of California. I just wanted to shout at Beatrice that not everyone in LA chases after stars and are materialistic empty shells of people. I felt like that was a major character flaw and wished that by the end of the story, she would have realized this by being surrounded by Josh's friends or something. You're never going to find paradise, no matter where you go if you are going to be judgemental and have a cynical outlook on people in general. JMOOverall, I felt that there were too many loose threads left at the end of this story that could have been tied up. What happened with the half-brother and his mother and why were these characters brought into the story when they served no purpose. What was the point of this book that Josh had written? It seems like TB was trying too hard at an attempt at irony by killing him off before the book even hit shelves. As I made it through the last page, I just wanted to scream out WHAT'S THE POINT? Unfortunately, my whole family was asleep and they probably wouldn't have been too happy to be woken in that way is I just kept the frustraion bottled up, in hopes that by the morning it would have passed. However, it didn't. Ugh, I was hoping for a 5 star read with this one, but I have to be truthful with my feelings and give it a 3.